I’m not sure if it’s the meds or just the chemical makeup of my brain. Every so often I need to find the world to be a quiet place. A fucking Hideaway from work, family, aggravation in general. When I don’t take this time I start questioning the people around me. Question your loyalty and true motives. Paranoia sets in and I drank it in like water. So I have to step away from everything. No social media. No phone calls. No random PM’s. Nothing. I need to do this ever so often. The frustration of life is like running water that comes out stronger and faster just by standing next to it. And I don’t have a finger big enough to plug up the dyke. So all I can do is leave. Drive for hours at a time listening to music in my car. It seems to be my only Escape. No there’s no training today. No clever promos to film. No witty vulgar podcast to record. I just need all the voices to stop. I need to find a balance so that I don’t fall in this unforgiving hypocritical world. I don’t like feeling like this. And if I could just stop I would. But I can’t.