Today, we’re going to learn about what makes me, me!
I am mixed. Let’s get that out of the way first and foremost. I am Jamaican, Italian, Irish, Greek, British, Cherokee, Blackfoot, and German. Most of my makeup is the first 3 though. (Yepp, you read correctly, Jamaican blood flows through these veins, cupcake.)
Naturally, growing up, I was pretty awesome. I had a thick Brooklyn accent and used to confuse the hell out of all of my white teachers in elementary school, insomuch as they would call my dad in for conferences because of how I used to speak. They “worried” about me because here’s this gorgeous “white girl,” attending city school, speaking with a VERY thick hood ass accent. My father told all of my teachers “that’s because she IS black. Are we done here?” (No chill buttons run in my family. We’re all extra and outspoken. Yall should see my Instagram- itsmecherea and snapchat- cecimyplaymate for further proof hahahahaha!)
Anyway, being a city brat with a personality of taking no shit from anyone over anything, I easily fit in with everyone. I could blend in with the other kids, no matter what their skin tone was, and no one would ever blink an eye or criticize me for being a “cultural appropriator.” (God, I hate that fucking term.) When my dad decided to move me and my siblings out of the city and into the suburbs… LAWD almighty, I got the biggest culture shock EVER.
So, we moved to RH the year I was entering the 6th grade. I hated it there up until 10th-11th grade. Yeah, I had some teachers I liked but very few. Like 2. Literally.
So anyway, when the first day of school hit, I was pumped because i thought “this is awesome. I can still be just as popular as I was in the city. Kids are kids where ever you go! I’ve got this.” #NEGATIVENANCY It DID NOT happen that way AT ALL!!
All the white kids hung out with the whites. All the blacks with the blacks (and Puerto Ricans.) I was only used to cliques like “nerds,” “jocks,” and the “sluts.” (yepp, in elementary school, we had sluts.) Anyway, I went and introduced myself to the popular white kids and what the snobby “regina George-like” cunt said to me floored me insomuch that I ended up cussing her out in front of everyone. This heifer had the nerve to flip her white privileged blonde hair at me and say “we don’t like posers. You’re not black so stop acting like you are.” ……..bitch. I felt so ashamed as a little girl. I was only 11 years old at the time and experienced my first racist encounter that I could fully understand. I went home, when into my basement where my dad kept the family weight machine, and lifted weights for hours to get my anger out. I was lucky enough that day to meet one person who has been my best friend since, Yashira Rivera. (Love ya, mama!)
So day two, I try to approach the popular black kids and the craziest thing happened, they rejected me at first too! I literally could not understand what bug everyone in that district (except for Yashira, Courtney, Ashley, and Rocco) had up their asses. 7th grade and I only had 4 friends. When Yashira & Rocco moved, I had Courtney and Ashley. I love them to pieces and they know this. Being in middle school with only 2 friends though… that spoke for itself. I started lashing out on my teachers and other students because of things going on at home and I guess that made the black kids change their minds about me.
When I get pissed off, you can hear that thick ass Brooklyn accent resurface and you get to see just how ratchet and hood I can be. I promise you it’s not a pretty sight but I guess, when something happened (I won’t say what) and I snapped in the lunchroom, everyone got quiet around me and was like “yo, wtf!? She’s crazy! We can fucks with her.” Just like that, I was accepted by a good number of the popular black students at my school and the rest is history.
What really bothers me the most about my past and this whole stupid situation is that people, even still to this day, judge others by the color of their skin. It’s fucking stupid beyond belief! I can tell you this first hand, because it happened again to my yesterday: trying to speak to black folk and got criticized for being “a white girl who thinks she hood.” I get it from white folks too when they hear me speak. When I am getting really into a story or something I am saying, that thick ass Brooklyn hoodrat comes out of me and white folks just stare with disgust or make comments like “bitch, you’re not black. Take it down a notch.” #CUPCAKELISTEN People like that drive me up a wall and catch me out of character because I’m not the kind of person who will just lay down and submit to shit like that. Heifers, yall gon’ hear this mouth if yall come at me sideways about my skin tone or races.
It is 2018 and people walk around with their asses up on their shoulders and act like they are better than everyone else around them. I get it, confidence is key. We all know this, but if yall don’t act kind to one another or act like yall dont have any proper home training….mannnnnn… we are going to leave our kids a world that is filled with hate!!! I ain’t about that nonsense.
The Chewy Center Of The Cookie: our graves are all the same size when its our time, no matter the color of our skin. So stop being haters and start spreading and showing love, consideration, and compassion towards one another.
Just for shits and giggles, there’s family pics below too. Yall get the privilege of seeing little me LOL